


Having you back

by Julieseven



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Chaste Kisses, F/M, Flirting, Hugs, talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-29 09:41:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11438220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julieseven/pseuds/Julieseven
Summary: I couldn't resist writing a little something about the day Yousef comes back from Turkey.





	1. Having you back

You just finished your Salah when your heart jumps a little for no apparent reason. Rushing over to your desk to grab your phone, you almost laugh at yourself. It's exactly 17:25, and you can feel your cheeks blush and your heartbeat accelerate. Trying to breathe steadily, you just stand there, staring at your phone, feeling more like an idiot with every passing second.

But then, just as the time code on your phone changes to 17:26, a message bubble pops up, making you gasp involuntarily.

 

_"Hey girl, just landed. I'm back."_

 

Having checked the flight schedules way too many times that day, you know Yousef must have literally texted you right after his plane touched down, and that thought makes you smile so hard your cheeks almost hurt. You take a deep breath and then type a text back.

 

_"Great, welcome home. Wanna shoot some hoops tomorrow?"_

 

You scrunch up your nose after hitting send. _Too desperate?_ But you barely have a minute to panic before you get another text.

 

_"I'm free tonight. Gotta drop off my bags at home but I can pick you up at seven?"_

 

And just when you think your heart can't possibly beat any faster, another message comes in.

 

_"I miss you."_

 

A completely un-Sana-ish squeal of joy escapes your mouth and you punch the air with your fist. But then you remember who you are and clear your throat and take a few deep breaths. _Play it cool, Sana!_

 

_"You too. See you later then."_

 

Right after you send the last text, time slows down until you feel it's not passing at all. You try to take your time changing into your favourite white linen pants and black T-shirt, scrutinising your dark green abaya for any spots and then hanging it at the back of the door. Then, you consider putting on a white hijab for the occasion, but in the end, you settle for a simple black one, deciding you don't need to make it too obvious you care about what you're wearing. After fixing your make-up – only nude lipstick and a little mascara – you sit in front of your mirror, trying to calm yourself down.

_Keep it together, damn it._

Just when your heart is back to beating at a normal pace, there's a knock on your door, making you frown. The only person who usually knocks before barging into your room is your dad, and he's definitely still at work. So you hesitate for a second before calling: "Yes?"

The door opens and Elias peeks into your room, an unusually shy grin on his face.

"Are you alright, little sister?", he asks, and now you're worried. Your brother is never this nice without a reason, and usually, the reason for him being shy means either trouble or big trouble.

 

You get to your feet and walk over to him, feeling panic rise in your throat.

"What's wrong? Did something happen to dad? Or mum?"

But Elias puts up his hands in a defensive gesture, shushing you. "No, Sana, everything's alright. Mum's with her friends and dad's at work, as usual, stop freaking out."

 

Now you're back to frowning. "So why are you …"

Elias rolls his eyes and groans dramatically. "Sometimes, I just want to know how my sister is doing, Sana!"

You study his face, trying to find evidence that he's pulling your leg. When you don't find any, you cross your arms in front of your chest and give your brother the tiniest of smiles.

"I'm good, thank you. Yourself?"

 

Elias' grin grows wider, and that's when you realise why he's here. _He knows Yousef is coming home today._

Looking down at your feet, you let out a soundless _"faen",_ but a high-pitched giggle makes you look up in shock. Elias is leaning in the doorframe, still giggling and pointing at you.

"My sister is in love", he states, and you throw your hands in the air and open your mouth to contradict him, but since he didn’t' even ask you decide it's no use.

"So what?", you snap at him, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the thought of seeing Yousef later.

Elias smiles back at you, looking pleased with himself. "I told him you can't wait to see him again, you know, so you should thank me."

You narrow your eyes and cross your arms again. "Elias, I don't need you to play matchmaker, seriously!"

Elias just shrugs and grins broadly. "Hey, I could give you shit for dating one of my friends, just remember."

He tries to come across as indifferent, but the warm look in his eyes betrays him. "You're the one who told me Yousef is the best guy you know."

Your brother grins again and inclines his head. "I guess I did."

The two of you smile at each other for a moment, until you remember to check the time. It's only 18:13 and you let out an involuntary groan.

 

"When is he coming?", Elias asks, making you shove him slightly, biting your lower lip.

"None of your business", you retort, but your brother just shakes his head with a slow laugh. You hate him and love him at the same time. It doesn't matter that he annoys you to no end and makes you want to kick him on a daily basis. At the end of the day, you know you can rely on your brother and his love for you is real. You trust each other and have each other's backs, and that's pretty damn amazing.

So when Elias is about to walk off to the living room, you call after him. "At seven."

Elias turns on his heel and checks his phone. "40 minutes", he remarks, and you almost groan again. "You could join me to watch our latest video, that will make time pass a little faster?"

 

The laugh that escapes you is not as mocking as you wish it was. "Yeah, I don’t think so."

"We got Isak AND Even to join us this time, it's really awesome!", Elias adds, and that actually piques your interest.

You think about it for a moment and then decide that you may as well kill ten of forty minutes this way. Throwing up your hands in a surrendering gesture, you follow Elias down the hall. "Fine."

 

The video is pretty good. The boys discuss Isak's and Even's relationship and what it was like for them to come out. Elias does a pretty decent job of explaining how he never understood why anyone's love for someone else could be wrong and the proud smile on Even's face while he listens to him makes your heart soar.

 

After the video is over, you discuss it with your brother for a while, almost forgetting why you sat down with him. But then, the doorbell rings and your insides turn to ice.

"Fuuuuck" you mumble, and adjust your hijab hastily, feeling your cheeks heat up. Elias laughs and puts a hand on your shoulder.

"Go get your shit together, I'll open the door."

 

You throw a thankful glance at him on your way back to your room, where you lean against the door and take a few deep breaths. _For Pete's get a hold of yourself._

But when you hear the front door open and Elias' and Yousef's voices as they greet each other enthusiastically, you decide to give up. With a groan, you open the door to your room and run across the apartment to the hallway.

Seeing Yousef for the first time in two months makes you stop dead in your tracks. _He looks so good._ Your crush is wearing white jeans and a black t-shirt, and for once he left his snapback at home. Which isn't good because it makes you want to run your fingers through his hair and you can't think about that, not with your brother standing between you and Yousef, grinning like a fucking idiot.

 

"Sana."

 

His voice is cheerful and broken at the same time, but the smile spreading on his face is so warm and gentle you can't help smiling back.

 

"Hi", you breathe and throw a sideway glare at your brother. _Get lost, damn it._

Elias clears his throat and pats Yousef's shoulder. "Be good to my sister, eh bro?"

Yousef stares at him and then nods wordlessly, looking back at you.

Your brother suppresses a chuckle and bumps your shoulder with his on his way past you, and then you're alone with Yousef.

 

For a few seconds, both of you just stand there, smiling at each other like idiots, not knowing what to do. But then, Yousef sighs and walks up to you, hesitantly wrapping both arms around your shoulders. You bury your face at his neck and put your arms around him, too, breathing him in.

"Welcome back", you murmur quietly, and Yousef's quiet laugh reverberates in your chest, making your knees go weak.

 

"It's good to be back", he whispers and puts a hand to the back of your head. "I missed you."

He wrote it in his text before, but hearing him say it is so much better. You pull him a little closer and lean your head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too."

 

Yousef presses a hesitant kiss to your hijab, and you can't help but smile to yourself. _Gosh, how can you be so cute?_ But then you remember you're still at home, with Elias next door, and that's what makes you gently disengage yourself from Yousef.

"Are you hungry?" you ask him, and Yousef's already broad smile gets even broader.

"Starving. Wanna go for Kebab?"

You nod at him and then gently push him out of the door, closing it behind you. "Definitely . Let's go!"


	2. She's everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I was asked to write a little more of my Yousana reunion piece "Having you back." The first part was from Sana's POV, the second one is from Yousef's and a bit long ... Sorry about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very worried about posting this because I think it might upset some people, so please be kind.

Sitting on a bench in Uranienborg park next to Sana, both of you eating kebab, you feel happier than you have felt in a long time. You’ve been talking and laughing on the entire way here, catching each other up about everything that happened while you were gone.

 

But now, you’re eating in silence, looking around and smiling comfortably whenever your eyes meet - which happens a lot, actually, and that fact makes you feel even giddier than you already are.

 

“Yousef, can I tell you something?”, Sana asks after a while, and the serious look on her face has you worried.  _ Please don’t push me away again. _

Swallowing hard, you nod slowly. “Uh, sure, yeah. Go ahead.”

Sana sighs deeply and looks at her half-finished kebab before meeting your eyes again. “I know I haven’t been very … clear with you about some things, and I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

 

Suddenly you’re not hungry anymore. You stuff the rest of your kebab into the bin next to the bench and look at Sana, an uneasy feeling rising from your stomach to your throat

. “Uh okay? I mean, I don’t think you have to …”

Sana’s raised eyebrows make you trail off.

“Just .. ask, I guess?” she says and squares her shoulders, sitting up straighter. “I will answer any questions you have.” She gives you an encouraging smile and you can’t help but laugh a little.

“haha, alright then, give me a minute.”

 

You think back to the day you found out Sana had removed you from her facebook friends. That was a bad day. The boys kept pestering you to tell them what’s wrong, but you were scared to say anything because of Elias. So you shut everyone out and tried to be your usual, cheerful self while you were screaming inside.

“Why did you just … kick me out of facebook?”, you ask hesitantly, trying to smile but failing miserably.

Sana makes a face. “Ugh, because you told me you’re not muslim and I thought that meant I can’t be with you.” She groans and buries her face in her hands. When she looks back up at you, the fond look in her eyes makes your heart skip a beat. “But then, Elias told me you’re the best guy he knows, muslim or not, and that it matters more to live as if you believed in Allah than to say you believe in him, and I kind of couldn’t argue with that.”

 

You stare blankly at her. “Elias told you that? About me?”

Sana laughs at your expression and then folds her hands in her lap. “My brother isn’t just a pompous idiot, he also has a heart of gold okay?”, she says and tries to give you a threatening stare. “If you tell anyone I said that, I will have to kill you.”

 

You both laugh at that and you put down your kebab to place a hand over your heart. “I swear, I will never tell.”

“Good”, Sana says and takes a deep breath. “What else do you want to know?”

 

You bite your lower lip and squint, but it’s all for show. You know what you want to ask next, you just don’t know how.

“Uhm … Did Noora ever tell you …” You trail off when Sana shakes her head.

“No. I saw you kiss her at the karaoke place.”

She doesn’t sound angry, but you still feel every word cut through you like a knife. Burying your face in your hands, you groan frustratedly and try to think of something to say that won’t sound like a lame excuse.

 

But before you can say anything, you feel a hand on your shoulder. Looking up, you find Sana looking at you with a fond smile, not even a trace of anger or disappointment on her face.

“But she did show me the texts you sent her after that night.”

 

You can’t help but smile back at Sana, but then you realise what that means and stare at her in shock. “Oh fuck, she showed you everything?”

Sana chuckles slightly and nods. You throw your head back and groan, feeling your cheeks heat up.  _ Now she knows what a complete fucking idiot you are, congratulations. _

But before you can think of something to say, Sana gets to her feet and walks around the bench. You try to turn around, worried she’s about to leave, but then her hands are on your shoulders and you can’t think anymore.

Sana bends down and whispers in your ear: “I think you’re right, you know?” Her breath tickles your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Swallowing hard, you take a deep breath and are about to ask what Sana means when she beats you to it.

“We could be soulmates.”

 

She lets out a shaky breath after the last word and you realise she’s as nervous as you are. That makes you feel braver than you actually are, and you turn around to face her. You take her hand and look up into her beautiful face. Sana looks a little flustered, but her smile makes your heart stutter in your chest. Still, you manage to smile back calmly as you raise her hand to your lips and kiss her knuckles.

“We are”, you say simply, and Sana laughs joyfully, reaching out to touch your cheek with her free hand. You freeze, staring up at her in disbelief. Sana has never touched your skin before. Apparently, she realises that too, because she lets go of you and walks back around the bench, sitting down again, making your stomach drop.

She’s still smiling at you when she looks at you, however a little more hesitant now. For a few moments, she looks down at her hands and then back up at you, evidently searching for words. “I know this isn’t … going to be easy”, she finally says, and you can tell it takes her a lot of effort to get the words out. She holds your gaze though and you try to smile reassuringly despite the uncomfortable thumping of your heart. “I’m not exactly … a dream girlfriend or anything”, she goes on, and you automatically shake your head.

 

“Don’t ever think that, Sana”, you tell her and reach out to take her hands but thinking better of it. You struggle to find the right words for a moment, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. But when you look up at Sana to find her looking at you with a sad and doubtful expression, the words just fall out of your mouth.

“I just feel like I can be myself around you. You don’t judge me, you’re honest and you make me feel like I’m a good person, and that’s … I can’t tell you how much that means to me okay? That’s why I … I was so scared, Sana. After I walked you home that Friday night and your mum saw us, I was afraid we would never be together, because your religion forbids it. So when I saw you at that karaoke place, I tried to stay away from you.” You shake your head and laugh at yourself. Suddenly you’re shivering, but not from cold. You’ve never talked about how you feel, not to anyone, let alone to the person you have feelings for.  _ Might as well go on. _

 

“That was so hard, Sana. You looked so beautiful that night, all I wanted to do was walk up to you and hold you in my arms, but I just … couldn’t … and then, after I told you about the fight Elias was in, Noora walked up to me and kissed me, and yes, I kissed back because I couldn’t think and needed to distract myself, but it felt all wrong. And after that I did everything wrong, too. I know you can’t trust me, but I wish …”

 

Suddenly, Sana’s hands reach for yours and you can’t go on. Tears are welling up in your eyes but you blink them away before you look up at her.

Sana’s eyes are full of love, there is no other way to describe it. “But I do trust you, Yousef”, she says quietly. With a small smile she adds: “If I didn’t, I would never have stood under that beach shower at the Fjord.”

A broken laugh escapes your throat and Sana chuckles, still holding both your hands in hers. You take a deep breath and look into Sana’s beautiful eyes. If you weren’t sitting down, you’re sure your knees would buckle at the sight.  _ Just … say it. _

 

“Sana?”, you whisper and look down at your hands, your heart thundering in your chest as if it’s about to jump out.

“Yes?”, she breathes back and you can hear the smile in her voice, but her grip on your hands tightens a little, encouraging you to go on.

“Can … can I hold you?”

You feel Sana tense a little, but she doesn’t move away. “Yes”, she answers softly, leaning a little closer, and you look up into her face to see her smiling, without a trace of doubt. So you smile back and wrap your arms around her, pulling her close.

Sana puts her head on your shoulder and hums contently, and you feel the sound in every fibre of your being. Your hands roam her back and you bury your face at her neck, breathing her in. Sana smells of green tea and jasmin, and something you can’t name, but it makes you close your eyes and feel at home.

 

You don’t know how long you sit there with your arms around each other, but Sana doesn’t let go. Even when you move your head back to look at her, Sana’s hands stay at your sides, making your heart flutter a little. You cradle Sana’s face between your palms and stare at her, wondering how on earth you got to be so lucky to know a person like her.

Feeling overwhelmed, you lean your forehead against hers, closing your eyes again. You feel Sana’s breath on your face and that’s when you realise you’re in public and this is way too intimate for Sana to be comfortable.

Reluctantly, you let go of her and fold your hands in your lap, chuckling uncomfortably. “Uh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

Sana lets out a long breath and then gets to her feet, holding out a hand to you. “Come on, it’s my turn to show you something.”

  
You frown at her but don’t hesitate to take her hand and get up as well. “Alright, where are we going?”

 

Sana just shrugs and winks at you with a blinding smile. “My place, but don’t get any ideas!”

She’s walking backwards in front of you, the challenging look in her eyes making your knees a little wobbly.  _ Kill me now. _

 

“I never get ideas, honestly”, you mumble, making Sana laugh. “I’m serious!”, you add, trying to sound indignant but grinning at the same time.

 

The walk back to Sana’s house isn’t long, but it seems to take forever. You wonder what Sana wants to show you, but you mostly worry about what you will do if no one else is home. And only when you reach the front door do you realise you’re not the only one whose nerves are fluttering: Sana’s fingers are shaking slightly as she puts the key in the lock, although she tries to hide it.

 

Both of you kick your shoes off in the hallway and put your jackets on the small couch. walks towards the door to the living room but stops in front of it and turns back around to face you, biting her lower lip. “Okay, this is a little embarrassing … but I need you to believe me I never stopped caring about you, in spite of what I … thought happened with Noora.” The words tumble out of her mouth so fast you barely catch their meaning, but you nod quickly and bury your hands in your pockets.

 

“Okay, I guess”, you say with an insecure chuckle, and Sana smiles at you again before opening the door and leading you to her room.  _ HER room.  _

Your hands are shaking so you keep them in your pockets as you follow her inside. The first thing that catches your eye is a big poster of 2Pac Shakur at the wall above Sana’s bed.

“It seems Stephen Curry isn’t the only man I need to worry about is he?”, you say, but the second the last word has left your lips you realise your mistake.

 

You make a face, but before you can correct yourself, Sana glares at you. Or rather, she tries but ends up looking at you fondly with a trace of amusement and pity. “I don’t think you have to worry about a dead rapper, unless -  you’re really that boring.”

 

“Ouch, yeah, sorry, I … “ you begin, but then clear your throat and cross your arms in front of your chest. “Didn’t you want to show me something?”

 

Sana nods shortly and walks over to her dressing table. “Do you remember what you gave me that Friday night you walked me home form Noora’s place?” Her voice shakes slightly as she turns her head to look at you.

You could never forget the blue flowers you plucked for Sana and how pretty she looked with them tucked underneath her hijab. “I gave you flowers, blue ones”, you say, your voice all but a whisper.

Sana turns around, smiling as brightly as the sun itself. Smiling back like an idiot, it takes you a long moment to realise she’s holding something in her hand. You gasp quietly, and Sana giggles, holding out the dried up flowers to you. Very carefully, you take them from her and stare at them incredulously.

“You kept them?”

Sana nods slowly, biting her lower lip. “I couldn’t throw them away”, she says quietly, twiddling her thumbs. “They reminded me of you, and I thought … if I can’t … well, then at least I would have something to remember a happy moment by.”

 

You stare at her, fighting back tears of joy. Sana takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders, looking straight into your eyes. “So you see, I never stopped … thinking of you.”

She blushes and bites her lower lip, and you’ve never wanted to kiss her more badly than right now.

“I believe you”, you whisper, walking up to her and reaching past her to place the flowers in the glass standing on the dressing table. Sana’s breath catches and you stand still, trying to stop your hands from shaking. Your chin is almost touching Sana’s right shoulder, and when she doesn’t push you away, you very slowly wrap your right arm around her, pulling her a little closer. Sana turns to face you and hesitatingly puts her hands on your shoulders. She looks up at you, her eyes full of expectation, but also with a hint of fear. You give her the most reassuring smile you can manage and then slowly put your other arm around her waist. With a deep sigh, you hug her tightly, trying to say with your arms what you don’t know how to say out loud.  _ I won’t hurt you. You’re safe with me. _

 

Sana relaxes in your embrace and when you feel her arms around your middle, you almost can’t believe it. Encouraged, you run your hands up along her back and then over her shoulders until you’re holding her face between your palms again. Sana’s smile is soft, but you still see a trace of fear in her eyes. And this time, you decide to say something. “Tell me to stop.”

It’s merely a whisper, but Sana emits a pearl of laughter and crosses her hands in your back to pull you a little closer, making you gasp. “Don’t”, she breathes back, and you feel the sound in every fibre of your being. Sana’s expression becomes serious as she goes on. “I know what I want, okay?”

“Okay”, you tell her, your voice almost breaking, and before you can stop yourself, you lean forward and press your lips to her forehead. Sana goes completely still in your arms and closes her eyes, so you lean in again, this time kissing both her eyelids, revelling in the little sigh Sana gives at the gesture. She tilts her head upward, eyes still closed, erasing the last piece of doubt from your mind.

You let out a shuddering breath before finally closing your eyes, too and gently press your lips to Sana’s. She sighs against your mouth, sending a shiver down your spine. You brush your thumbs across her cheeks and kiss her again, longer this time, still unable to believe this is actually happening. Before you get carried away, you break the kiss and lean your forehead against Sana’s.

“I have to stop, I don’t trust myself”, you whisper, still holding her face between your palms, marvelling at her beautiful face. Sana smiles and opens her eyes again, nodding slowly. To your relief, she looks happy and not at all uncomfortable. You take both her hands in yours, grinning like an idiot and feeling your heartbeat in your ears.

“Thank you”, Sana whispers, brushing her nose to yours, almost making you dizzy.  _ How can you be so tough and so adorable at the same time? _

 

“What for?”, you ask, pressing another chaste kiss to her lips. 

“Just for … being you.”

Sana looks down at your joint hands, and you notice a faint blush on her cheeks. A joyful laugh bubbles up in your throat and you wrap Sana in a tight hug again, feeling all the tension between you evaporate.

“Likewise, girl”, you murmur into her ear. “I can’t believe I just kissed you and you didn’t slap me.”

Sana laughs cheerfully and moves her head back to look into your eyes again. “Don’t test your luck”, she says, winking at you with a spark in her eyes that makes your knees go weak. “Also, I’m sure we won’t be alone for much longer though …”

 

She bites her lower lip again, looking mortified.

“Oh yes, you’re right.” You shake your head and let go of Sana’s hands. Sure, Elias may have sung your praises to Sana, but that doesn’t mean he won’t strangle you if he sees you come out of his sister’s room.

Your face must be showing that fear, because Sana laughs and takes your hand in hers again before she opens the door. “Don’t worry too much, Elias won’t kill you.”

You wrap your fingers around hers and raise your clasped hands, giving her a questioning look. “But your parents won’t be happy about this, will they?”

Sana’s eyes darken a little, but she’s still smiling when she looks at you. “My parents, my problem.” Both of you laugh shortly, and Sana adds: “Elias has put them through worse, they will come to terms with me dating a non-muslim.”

 

You freeze, almost making Sana trip over the carpet. “What?”

Sana frowns slightly, but you hardly notice, since your heart threatens to jump out of your chest for the tenth time today. “We’re dating?”

Letting go of your hand, Sana crosses her arms in front of her chest and scowls. “Why, do you often kiss girls you don’t intend to date?”

A nervous laugh escapes you and you quickly clear your throat. “No, I mean, I’m just … I can’t quite believe my luck.”

Sana unfolds her arms and gives you a soft smile. She’s about to say something when you hear voices from the hallway. “Kitchen! Pretend you’re looking for a bottle of water for you and the boys” Sana hisses and you nod, quickly walking across the living room as Sana retreads to her room.

 

You let out a breath of relief when it’s just Elias joining you in the kitchen. He hugs you and then gives you a knowing look. “Good times with my sister?”

Laughing nervously, you look at your feet for a moment before meeting Elias’ eye. “Sana is awesome, man.”

Elias nods appreciatively. “I know I don’t need to tell you …”

You shake your head and smile brightly at your best friend, feeling that today must be the best day of your life so far. “She’s everything. I will not let either of you down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? I hope it wasn't too daring?? Give me your thoughts please .. :-)


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